New Calvin Text Discovered!

1 Apr

What follows was a cleverly crafted April Fools gag. I do them every year, tuns out this was the least well recieved. Next year I should plan ahead more.

For all those keen Church Historians out there you are already very aware no doubt. Some of us take a little longer to find out about these things though!

Turns out that about 3 months ago at a French manuscript was purchased at a Lincoln Car Boot sale which was translated by the French literature enthusiast that had parted with just £7 to get it!!!

Al the usual hallmarks of Calvin are found within, his devotion to the doctrine of predestination, his exposition of the contentious “I am the bread of life” passage. Nothing too unusual there then….

…except that it’s relieved a 6-point of Calvinism! The work apparently reveals that Calvin was something of a French nationalist and condemned all theology which was carried out in the UnitedKingdom. His justification (sic)? A very crafty exposition of the Babylon passage in Revelation in the style of those “Bible Code” fanatics.

According to Calvin the Greek text is rather odd and when broken down for some letters to represent numbers while others characters in the Latin alphabet, a whole host of British postcodes can be found.

I know what you’re thinking, the document must be fake! Well guess what, it’s today been declared authentic by the Calvin Institute of Christian Worship.

Your thoughts?


4 Responses to “New Calvin Text Discovered!”

  1. Larry 01/04/2010 at 8:50 am #

    Happy April bro…

  2. Gethin 01/04/2010 at 8:58 am #

    Ye I remember hearing something about that a while back. To be honest, it is the main reason I moved out to France.

  3. sammydaviesjr 01/04/2010 at 9:40 am #

    It’s a really good read actually. I think Welsh Nationalist Christians will especially love it as it finally gives them a legitimate excuse to be racist against the English. Apparently Plaid are thinking of translating it into Welsh (obviously) and trying to get it passed in the House of Commons. Crazy No?!


  1. I do love April Fools « saintbeagle - 04/04/2011

    […] 3) Calvin was a little bit racist. (2010) […]

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